LUNCHBOX – A meal for the soul

LUNCHBOX – A meal for the soul

Irrfan- Film schools will be teaching students in the years to come that just like Mahatma Gandhi walked on Indian soil for independence, there was an actor by the name of Irrfan who walked for the sake of promoting art. Please go see the film for his sheer talent. Irrfan will surprise you with his understated elegance and simplicity.

Ritesh Batra- This kind of craft for a first feature film is hard to imagine, this is called research , development and execution all in one. Let’s all pause and give a standing ovation to the man in our living rooms or wherever this blog reaches you.

Nimrat Kaur-The lady is outstanding, she has been around doing advertisements and you can catch her eating chocolate at a traffic signal in a recent ad(ok, let's not go there), but here she turns around , dons a salwar kameez with her eyebrows not done and all focus on making the hubby happy with the dabba. She should not be labelled as the new Smita Patil, but should be left alone to carve her own niche in the film industry. Her expressions match Irrfan’s stroke by stroke.

Nawazzudin- he is fantastic as the support cast and I think as soon as he steps out of the shoes of a leading man and into the shoes of a support actor, he moves to a different level, like Leander Paes in doubles tennis. Nawazzudin has been given a small but significant role, which he essays to perfection.

What Kahaani did for Kolkata, The Lunchbox does for Mumbai as it captures the daily life of Mumbai in the background of the story. The chemistry between Nimrat and her neighbour , Nimrat and her mother, Irrfan and Nawazzudin is something which needs to be taught in film/acting schools as a subject.

A big thank you to Anuraag Kashyap, Guneet Monga and Arun Rangachari for producing a tale of romance, struggle, little joys and life.

 

90 % of Students in IIM’s are Engineers- Diversity claims go for a toss

90 % of Students in IIM’s are Engineers- Diversity claims go for a toss

Compared to an average of 35-40%  in global institutes like Harvard and Stanford, who emphasise on diversification, in India the scenario is grim despite of the tall diversity claims.

You know these engineers , most of them have never scored less than 90 % in their lives, in fact the only reason why I wanted to score a 90% was to get a complementary triple sundae ice cream from nirulas.

The engineers they top school, IIT and land at the CAT centre, even the CAT paper is afraid of them.  I believe that IIT’s are the most honest institution in the country at least they claim that they are an institute of technology, whereas the IIM claim that they are the an institute of management when most of the admissions (almost 90%) go to the tech grads, ideally they should be renamed as IIMTS –Indian institute of management for technology students.

Then they begin their 2 year management program and start studying economics and accounts in year 1,  when the teachers were telling these chaps to opt for commerce with maths, then it was all about winning a Nobel and now after 6 years of science you are back to economics and accounts.

After two years of rigorous Management education, the interviews happen, most of these bright minds line up for the two GOLDMINE sectors BANKING and CONSULTING, when you are changing your stream from engineering to accounts in 6 years then the solid advice that you can give to a prospective client would be “ Sir, this is a great project for you, we have a 5 year vision for the project, if this does not work out we always have a plan –B ready for you, that’s what we have done ourselves too”.

Those who opt for BANKING are the best as they make use of their tech studies in the day to day banking jobs, the kind of application of chemical engineering that goes in selling credit cards, application of electronics engineering that helps in scanning documents in the operations department and the wonderful application of software engineering that helps them in making PPT for the senior management.

So all the non-engineering graduates who want to go for a B-School degree, your probability of getting into an Ivy league is much more than an IIM or should I say IIMTS.

 

 

HAMLET meets THE VAGINA in DELHI

HAMLET meets THE VAGINA in DELHI

1.       HAMLET-THE CLOWN PRINCE -5^th , 6^th and 7^th SEP at KAMANI AUDITORIUM, DELHI

Atul Kumar, the man behind Company theatre (also an alumnus of St. Xavier's Delhi, he passed out of 12^th standard the year I walked in prep, guess the school couldn’t handle both of us at the same time) who enthralled DELHI with his directorial effort in the smash hit play NOISES OFF is back but this time as an actor, in a play which is directed by RAJAT KAPOOR (the man who was bugged by VINEY PATHAK in BHEJA FRY), the play also stars KALKI KOECHLIN (DEV D, ZINDAGI NAA MILEGI DOBAARA -please don’t make me say she is ANURAAG KASHYAP’s better half), NEIL BHOOPALAM (SHAITAAN and NOISES OFF) and NAMIT DAS (WAKE UP SID and GHANCHAKKAR). The story revolves around a bunch of clowns who are trying to enact, hold your breath, HAMLET. 

2.       THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES- 5^th and 6^th OCT at EPICENTRE, GURGAON

It is a cardinal sin to miss out on this play and I admit I am a serial offender, however I have made amends and logged on to book my show and booked my tickets. Starring SONALI SACHDEV, AVANTIKA AKREKAR, MAHABANOO-MODY-KOTWAL (love her name and her smile), DOLLY THAKORE (Imposing presence and Bindi) and JAYATI BHATIA (a regular on Television). Written by EVE ENSLER, this is a global phenomenon and is a must for all lovers of arts and expression. Let’s talk about the big O, oops I mean lets hear about the big O.

9 Parts of Desire

9 Parts of Desire

I am a big fan of comedy plays but today I moved out of my comfort zone to watch a play about 9 Iraqi women who have gone through a lot in their lives between the two gulf wars. The play was an effort by a group called SANJHA SAPNA which has been working on various social, cultural and educational themes and the effort is to tell these stories in order to bring a positive change.

The story tonight was about 9 Iraqi women and they had chosen 9 different actors to perform these roles.

Mullaya- Played by Shibani Bedi was the first protagonist, with a very strong and booming voice, she enthralled all but I felt her role was a bit small and would love to see a full blown performance in some other play.

Layal- Played by Kriti Vij (Jaw dropping pretty)-This was the only part when I was not able to focus on the story as Kriti was a visual delight on the stage. Hope the casting agents are on the lookout.

Amal- Played by Dimple Kaur- The star of the show, got the maximum applause from the audience and was absolutely smooth like a fine piece of satin. Five stars indeed.

Huda- Played by Kavita Seth – Very confident performance by the lady.

Iraqi Girl- Played by Shirin Sewani- Youth emerged on the stage as balls were thrown around and a front row uncle was splashed with water.

The doctor- Played by Nupur Khosla- Second best voice modulation after Shibani Bedi, the coughing was fantastic.

The American- Played by Aarti Nayar – Very confident, the narrator, the way she shouted the names of her children/relatives was very moving indeed.

Uma Gadha- Played by Sonamm Sharma – She had the accent, had the lines and the acting all in the back of her palm, got very strong applause.

Nanna- Played by Vanya Joshi- You could instantly make out that Vanya Joshi was a professional artist and there was no comparison with the younger members of the team, she just took it to a different level.

A special mention for the director Kanchan Ujjal Singh who gave us such a remarkable story of suffering and as the team pointed out on stage that these stories NEED TO BE TOLD.

This post is for the 66% of the audience of my blog who live in India and a majority out of those 66% who live in Delhi, we need to support these initiatives by taking out our time, money and effort (driving in the rains).

Well done team SAANJHA SAPNAA, take a bow.

MADRAS CAFÉ –SHOOJIT SIRCAR

MADRAS CAFÉ –SHOOJIT SIRCAR

People like SHOOJIT SIRCAR are the reason why I spend my hard earned money (despite the rising inflation, depreciating rupee and sagging economy) on movie tickets every weekend and not wait for a movie to release on DTH TV.

Another reason why I went to see MADRAS CAFÉ was the brilliant effort called VICKY DONOR by the team of M/S SIRCAR, ABRAHAM and CHATURVEDI (Juhi, the dialogue writer for the uninitiated), but  both the movies are different like a ROSGOLLA and DARK CHOCOLATE and madras café is indeed a dark and a very bitter chocolate.

The ensemble cast has always been SHOOJIT SIRCAR’s trump card and he lives up to his reputation by giving roles to SIDDHARTH BASU (brilliant), AVIJIT DUTT (very good), PRAKASH BELAWADI(refreshing), DIBANG (all right) and NARGIS FAKHRI (very impressive). A small role has been given to our living legend PIYUSH PANDEY who looks afraid of the camera while delivering dialogues.

The movie is shot in a very firangi Hollywood style as it captures a global situation of the civil war in Sri Lanka, cinematography is Avant grade and is a joy to the eyes. This could be labelled as JOHN ABRAHAM’s finest work assignment till date. Go watch it or should I say don't miss it.

Noises Off – Hats Off

Noises Off – Hats Off

This was the first time I had paid money to watch an English play. Most of the English plays that I have seen were in school and college and the entry used to be free. Since I became a working professional most of my money (almost all) has gone to the Hindi productions of National School of Drama (both summer and winter festivals) and the plays by Sayeed Alam’s Peirrot’s Troupe (my current favourite).

However on the recommendation of my friend Varoon.P.Anand (who also happened to be the organiser of the play), I went to see ATUL KUMAR’s-(A fellow Xavarian)  NOISES OFF a comedy play written by English playwright MICHAEL FRAYN.

The play was divided into three parts and when the first part started, it was your regular funny stuff and the two bong girls sitting behind me made sure that they giggled on each and every goofy moment and also translated the moment in Bengali.

However it was just like your regular SITCOM material, people falling, people fumbling, people asking stupid questions and of course some getting irritated and the audience (including the bong girls behind me) going crazy with laughter. Just when I had rated the play (basis the first part) to the equivalent of a 100 CC Japanese bike, the second part started and it turned out that NOISES OFF was a 500 cc bullet thunderbird, which roared and thundered as suddenly the backstage became front stage and the front stage became backstage and the play just went into a turbo mode. The laughter increased as all of us (audience, bong girls and me) were stunned by the front and back performance of these individuals on stage who suddenly became THEATRE PROFFESIONALS.

A special mention for YUKI ELLIAS the shining light of the play who just enthralled the auditorium, even though the character of Brooke was written to be the highlight of the show, YUKI performed it to perfection; her voice and the movements on stage will be remembered by the Delhi theatre audience for a long time to come.

Thank you ATUL KUMAR and THE COMPANY THEATRE, Delhi needs more of this.

P.S – For people who have not seen this play I would have loved to write that tonight is the final performance at KAMANI, but unfortunately the play is sold out, so better luck next time.

B.A.PASS (The Movie)

“THE GRADUATE” has arrived in India, however since the setting is a third world country, Mrs. Robinson doesn’t only milk the guy but leases him out to Mrs. Parkinson, Mrs. Hutchison and so on and so forth.

The setting is DEV-D, so are some of the actors (DIBYENDU BHATTACHARYA is a riot), which further adds to the fact that there is an Anuraag Kashyap school of filming out there. The lanes of Paharganj, the palatial house at Barakhamba Road (Special 26 and Dev-D) and the by lanes of old Delhi provide a very authentic/clichéd setting which has become hep these days. A shot of Jama Masjid has become an omnipresent frame in any art-house /mainstream movie shot in Delhi these days.

Cinematography and editing is brilliant, great work by AJAY BAHL. The story has a melancholic flavour to it as if the graph of the character is already etched in the mind of the audience and it will be one way traffic from there.

However SHILPA SHUKLA has a wooden face even in the lovemaking scenes and that is a clear flaw, it looks like a half-hearted half-baked attempt at something that you agreed to do initially and then were not able to deliver in entirety, a woman shedding clothes and emoting like one are two different parts and both need to be executed together.

Overall different cinema, a great first half, a fantastic attempt by first timer AJAY BAHL. 

YES, IT HAS FINALLY HAPPENED

Yes, it has finally happened, the only white thing around my SONY VAIO used to be the body of the laptop but today I have a white word sheet in front of me.

That too when I have to

1. Submit a draft for a Hinglish stand-up comedy by next week

2. Submit my entry play script to the Short and Sweet theatre festival in the next 20 days

3. Write dialogues for my short movie (The story is ready, thank god)

4. Last but not the least an entry for my own BLOG, which I have not done for some time.

The white word sheet looks very sexy in the beginning; it makes you feel like a creative with a writer’s block and trying to create your piece de resistance (pronounced as P.S DEY RESISTONCE as a lady recently told me in a theatre workshop).

However after some time you start feeling frustrated with the whiteness around you (contrary to the white waterfall that falls on you and you experience peace during a meditation session).

You feel as if you are a caged mute parrot, you know you can make a hell of a noise, but you are not able to right now, just like POPEYE longs for spinach you long for that green chilly to give you your voice back. So you can fly out of the cage and create commotion all around. Hell yeah.

P.S – Desperately seeking a green chilly.

Short + Sweet Delhi Theatre Workshop at Akshara Theatre

I hate goodbyes but love unions ..and as it turned out that the Short and Sweet Delhi 2013 was indeed a BLESSED UNION OF SOULS. When I bought a BOSE sound dock in May this year , I thought to myself that no sound can come close to this joy and then on the weekend of 19-21st July I met a waterfall called ZORIAN CROSS and suddenly the sound of the dock was not so musical compared to what I heard from the man himself on stage, it was like watching Biyanca Castafiore , the nightingale from the animation Tintin come alive in front of me. I am always wary of Indians with accents but VarOO7n .P. Anand (yes the 7 is his guitar) is different, a great actor and even a better person.

Coming to our lovely faculty……

1. Neel Chaudhary -Playwriting –Neel was like a play himself, there were moments when he ...got so absorbed in the many ideas that the class was throwing at him, that he looked as if he was listening to one of Beethoven’s symphonies.

2. Giles Chuyen – Direction – I learned so much from Giles that I feel as if I am indebted to him for the circles (the squares aint happening here baby), the only regret is that I wanted to see Giles doing a run with a performance which show us the sea of his movements (there is always a next time).

3. Ashwath Bhatt– Acting – Ashwath managed the impossible, he made me jump (on my toes), made me stretch (although the view in front was quite pleasing), made me drop my shoulders (when for the last 30 years all I am trying to do is the reverse), I think the residential 7 day course at the theatre garage is going to be like a trip to the Himalayas, with Ashwath being the wise sage and me the kung fu panda –WENHAO.

Finally our organisers/moderators Sohaila Kapur and Prashant Sehgal

I think the last time somebody asked me to have TEA AND BUISCUITS so many times in one day was my mother during my post grad exams 7 years back. A big thank you for organising this, I met so many wonderful people and went back with such wonderful memories.

P.S
The rain in July is nothing…..wait till you see November rain.

THE MALE VERSION OF ENGLISH VINGLISH - PART 5

THE MALE VERSION OF ENGLISH VINGLISH - PART 5

Mr. Dad had already thought about the song that he wanted to sing – a cover of BOYZONE’s –A PICTURE OF YOU - I HAD A PICTURE OF YOU IN MY MIND, NEVER KNEW IT WOULD BE SO WRONG.

He had shortlisted couple of event organisers who could arrange a decent gig for him. However the Drummer was still missing.

 One evening when Mr. Dad was swimming in the pool of his residential complex, he bumped into (literally) Mr. Singh, a sardarji who was one of the oldest residents in the complex, the collision of the backstroke of Mr. Dad and the butterfly of Mr. Singh led to a chat which covered world affairs, politics, cricket, tennis, chicks, food and you guessed it right -music. Mr. Singh was a drummer in his boarding school and was a riot on stage. Mr. Dad was feeling the same pleasure in the pool after discovering Mr. Singh, like a buffalo feels in a pond on a sunny day.

The trinity of Mr. Dad , Mr.Jose and Mr.Singh named their band –DADDY’s DAY OUT.

 A telephone call was made to the event organiser, Mr. Khan who was the go to person for any kind of event in the city, be it a stand up, rock concert, college festival or even marital event.

A to do list was created by Mr.Khan which comprised of the following items

-          Campaign on social media including Twitter and Facebook

-          Campaign on print media in the weekend column

-          Posters to be printed and pasted at the various hot spots in the city

-          Non stop practise by DADDY’s DAY OUT for one month

To be contd……..

THE MALE VERSION OF ENGLISH VINGLISH –PART 4 – THE STORY CONTINUES

THE MALE VERSION OF ENGLISH VINGLISH –PART 4 – THE STORY CONTINUES

After the stand-up comedy tour, Mr.Dad was a hit at home and office and when most people think that this was the ending, it was not to be. Once a fire starts burning in your belly to achieve something then it is very similar to the fire in a forest, it just goes on and on till it conquers all that it feels like conquering, be it the trees in the forest or the quirks in life.

Mr.Dad was a stand-up comic as he had the flair for comedy but he also wanted to do something which he really loved, he wanted to SING……that too in a ….BOY BAND.

Now a 40 year old male trying to be the lead in a boy band is hilarious and catastrophic at the same time, but what to do - the fire in the forest was at its peak.

Mr.Dad was a great fan of some of the finest European boy bands in his 20’s and always wanted to sing like them, melodious love ballads.

However the question which arises here is that for a BAND you need other people, so where are the other members of the team, the DRUMMER and the GUITARIST.

Mr.Dad was anxious and was not able to sleep, thinking about his partners in rhyme. Also it was his son’s parent teacher meeting the next morning, and he did not want to turn up as a sleep deprived high flying corporate executive, so he slept.

The Parent teacher meeting went well and he got to meet the headmaster Mr.Jose for the first time, as they were chatting about life in general it came to his notice that Mr.Jose was an excellent bass guitarist, Mr.Dad felt as if he has solved the Rubik’s cube in 30 seconds.

However the real problem was the drummer, who was nowhere to be seen and heard……………………To be contd............

GHANCHAKKAR-SERIOUSLY...

GHANCHAKKAR was on my recommendation list since the beginning of the year because of the two beautiful stories that RAJ KUMAR GUPTA had weaved in AAMIR and NO ONE KILLED JESSICA, but after watching the movie I feel it is not EMRAAN HASHMI who has lost it in the movie (Amnesia) but RAJ KUMAR GUPTA and the guys at creative/production- who have lost the plot big-time.

VIDYA BALAN is the sole silver lining in this odd cloud and she just lights up the screen whenever she comes on, VIDYA has become like the hot chocolate fudge of nirulas in Delhi or the vada pao/pao bhaji in Mumbai –means you can never go wrong with her, but unfortunately her brilliance alone can’t save the movie.

This is the golden period for all young and aspiring scriptwriters to make it in the Indian Film Industry, however this movie shows how sad things can become if you get it wrong (Talaash comes to mind).

AMIT TRIVERDI’s music is the saviour along with brilliant lyrics from AMITABHA BHATTACHARYA, LAZY LAD is a masterpiece but the movie unfortunately is not.

2013- THE YEAR OF THE COMEBACK /RETURN /SECOND ATTEMPT

2013- THE YEAR OF THE COMEBACK /RETURN /SECOND ATTEMPT

The 9 directors listed below are people who entered 2013 with just one Notable movie outing and loads of promise, here is an introduction of what they have done so far and what they have on offer.

1.       NEERAJ PANDEY –SPECIAL 26 and A WEDNESDAY

Neeraj is a special talent, in terms of narrating very different stories, after delivering a delight in A WEDNESDAY, he lived up to the expectations with the entertaining SPECIAL 26 this year. 

2.       ABHISHEK KAPOOR – KAI PO CHE and ROCK ON

He is our answer to USAIN BOLT, he won gold with ROCK ON and followed it up with a double gold in KAI PO CHE which might be the movie of the year. 

3.       AYAN MUKHERJEE – YEH JAWANI HAI DIWANI and WAKE UP SID

Ayan slipped, WAKE UP SID was genius and gold but YEH JAWANI HAI DIWANI was a silver, despite the huge box office collections, it was more like a retake on LOVE AAJ KAL, better was expected from him. 

4.       MRIGDEEP SINGH LAMBA – FUKREY and TEEN THEY BHAI

He is the only person on this list out of the 9 directors whose first outing (TEEN THEY BHAI) did not do well, but people still backed him and this year he showed his mettle in the hilarious FUKREY. 

5.       ANAND.L.RAI- RAANJHANAA and TANU WEDS MANU

TANU WEDS MANU was a masterpiece of sorts and people are already saying that DHANUSH is to RAANJHANAA what KANGANA was to TANU WEDS MANU. ANAND is the most sensitive director, not only on this list but in the Indian film industry. 

6.       RAJ KUMAR GUPTA - GHANCHAKKAR and NO ONE KILLED JESSICA

He is the only person on this list with two movies under his belt before entering 2013, AAMIR was his first - a low budget movie starring RAJEEV KHANDELWAL which won a lot of critical acclaim, he followed it up with NO ONE KILLED JESSICA which re launched the career of RANI MUKHERJEE and now he is back with VIDYA BALAN and EMRAAN HASHMI in GHANCHAKKAR. 

7.       VIKRAMADITYA MOTWANE –LOOTERA and UDAAN

UDAAN remains my favourite movie out of all the movies mentioned here because of the intense-light-intense moments it created throughout. VIKRAMADITYA has been groomed at the ANURAAG KASHYAP school of filming and now he branches out to do LOOTERA, I am neither a fan of SONAKSHI SINHA nor RANVEER SINGH so lets wait and watch. 

8.       ABHINAV KASHYAP –BESHARAM and DABAANG

DABAANG is one of the most original, entertaining and successful films of the last decade. It is SALMAN KHAN’s piece de resistance amongst all his mega blockbusters. ABHINAV now directs the crown prince of the film industry RANBIR KAPOOR along with his parents RISHI and NEETU KAPOOR (a casting coup of sorts) in BESHARAM. 

9.       SAKET CHOUDHARY –SHAADI KE SIDE EFFECTS and PYAR KE SIDE EFFECTS

PYAAR KE SIDE EFFECTS was entertaining as hell, the catchy lines just ripped you apart, but wait as SHADDI KE SIDE EFFECTS brings to you the first time dynamite pairing of FARHAN AKHTAR and VIDYA BALAN, no prizes for guessing what the marriage would be like. Ouch.

 

 

 

FUKREY (DELHI BELLY PART 2) - A LAUGH RIOT

FUKREY (DELHI BELLY PART 2) - A LAUGH RIOT

MRIGDEEP SINGH LAMBA is back with his second directorial venture after the not so successful TEEN THEY BHAI, in the movie FUKREY produced by FARHAN AKHTAR’s EXCEL ENTERTAINMENT.

The movie can be attributed to the style of OYE LUCKY LUCKY OYE and KHOSLA KA GHOSLA but the dialogues take it to the level of the creative genius that was DELHI BELLY.

The movie is a story of 4 men who are good for nothing but want great shakes out of life and the rest can be imagined.

VARUN SHARMA is the star of the movie as the hilarious CHOOCHA, MANJOT SINGH  and RICHA CHADHHA are the other two shining lights of the movie, RICHA has taken her craft to a level where even if she doesn’t speak, her eyes do the talking and here she is a riot as the notorious local pimp/ drugster/ don –BHOLI PUNJABAN.

The actual hero of the movie is VIPUL VIG -Story and screenplay which is tight and hilarious. Some of the dialogues had people laughing out so loudly in the theatre that you run the risk of missing out on the next dialogue. Don't remember the last time I laughed so much in a cinema hall.

4 STARS.

RAKEYSH OMPRAKASH MEHRA

RAKEYSH OMPRAKASH MEHRA

As one of the most anticipated films of the year BHAG MLKHA BHAG approaches its release in July, the mind goes back to the creator of the movie - RAKEYSH OMPRAKASH MEHRA. The impact that RAKEYSH has had on Indian cinema and the psyche of Indians is tremendous.

Rakeysh started his career as an Ad filmmaker directing the likes of Amitabh Bachchan in television commercials, there is not an iota of doubt in the fact that advertising has given us some of the best filmmakers of our times, be it the common man’s crusader Raju Hirani or the simple stylist R.Balki.

Not many people know that it was Rakeysh who gave Mr.Bachhan his much celebrated look of the silver French beard in his first directorial venture AKS (2001), KBC was offered to AB in 2000 and the beard stuck and the rest they say is history, KBC and the look of Bachhan captured hearts and is still going strong even after 13 years.

However real history still beckoned Rakeysh as he embarked on a journey by the name of RANG DE BASANTI (2006) to create a story by mixing the past with the present, the bonhomie with the tears, the struggle with the sacrifice. He indeed created history; moreover he created hysteria by showcasing the problems of today’s youth 60 years after the battle of independence and the power of the people on the streets. It was a theme that many playwrights had talked about before him but DJ and gang brought it to life and placed the name RAKEYSH OMPRAKASH MEHRA in the celluloid hall of fame forever.

It is always difficult to come up with something different after creating a masterpiece like RDB but Mehra wanted to showcase to the world, the place where he grew up- his roots in DELHI-6 (2009), it was not celebrated like RDB but for people who have lived there and I proudly say that I am one of them, it was pure magic, how the two main religious communities still coexist in the narrow lanes of Chandni Chowk is an example for all to emulate across the country.

Now the sporting legend Milkha Singh has given permission to Rakeysh to make a biopic on his life- a life which has seen great highs and lows , the expectations are huge just like Milkha Singh’s achievement’s in life, but if there is one man who could live up to this challenge it is Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra.

SUMMER DIARY

SUMMER DIARY
 

Summers are here and the heat poses some very interesting questions which I will have to answer (Have got no choice at 45c)

1. How will you cope with it

a) I will go for a SWIM

b) Will drink loads of BEVERAGES

c) Will plan a getaway to the HILLS

2. WHAT ABOUT SWIMMING

a) I will do at least 10 laps freestyle and 5 laps backstroke, rest of the time I will float like a buffalo in the pond oops pool

b) I will go either in the morning or evening

3. AND THE DRINKS

a) Aam Panna -If I leave some mangoes alone in the fridge

b) Roohafza - Both with milk and water

c) Beer-Corona, Miller, Tuborg and Erdinger

d) Rasna- I love you rasna

e) Orange Squash/Tang- Before Tang arrived on the scene there was Kissan squash rooling the roost

f) Sattu and Saunf ka paani are traditional drinks that give you more options

4.WHERE IN THE HILLS -ANANDA SPA RISHIKESH or WINDFLOWER HALL SHIMLA

a) Have been eying both for a pretty long time

b) However my travel advisor will take the final call

c) Will it be the palace of the Indian Maharaja in Garhwal or the House of a British Lord in Shimla?

d) My heart is fixed on the SPA at Ananda but the view from the Windflower hall is as enchanting as some of the therapies at Ananda

Summers can be really hard and you need to beat them by counter punching and arranging for new cocktails and newer destinations. Till then just enjoy your SATTU.

 

BLISS-SUNDAY

BLISS-SUNDAY

It’s my favourite time of the week -SUNDAY MORNING- Sunday being the best day of the week and morning being the most tranquil time of the day as I had explained in WEEKEND POOJA AT HOME.

With the ear phones of the I-Pod streaming music in my ear lobes, a copy of HT brunch in my hands and the laptop on my lap giving me world updates, I feel like a modern MAHARAJA, the multitasker, who wants to relax, reboot and upload winds of information at the same time.

Now if you pause for a moment and try to visualise how one can listen to SWEET CHILD OF MINE, read VIR SANGHVI-HT BRUNCH and press F5 (Refresh Button) for updates on FB/TWITTER/BLOGSPOT, you would get the image of a man who looks like he is busy for some work assignment- but you could never fathom that this is a man who is relaxing and is enjoying himself.

However this man who is in a state of bliss has only one searching question on his mind

-No it is not about who will become the Prime Minister in 2014

-Also it is not about who will win the IPL this year

The question is what will he get for breakfast today????? With wifey on a trip to Dreamland, the onus of preparing/arranging the Sunday breakfast falls on him.

Does it mean a separation from the music, articles and updates for an hour? It depends on what will he choose

a)      A sandwich and cold coffee at home is so Monday

 

b)      Puri Aloo/Choole would have been a good call but will not go well in this killer heat

c)       Spaghetti is something left for Big Chill (Khan Market) to make- but they don’t open before noon

d)      Sagar Ratna –Def Col , don’t feel like driving so far to eat dosa sitting with elderly gentlemen

I guess will wait for wifey to come back from dreamland, till then let me focus on the RELAX, REBOOT AND UPLOAD drill.

CHANDIGARH KARE AASHIQUI

CHANDIGARH KARE AASHIQUI

On my way back from work (no I was NOT thinking about partying but relaxing with the comforts of an Air Conditioner at home because Delhi is burning at 49c) as I was moving through the FM channels I came across a familiar sound………

It was a song I first heard when I was in school- CHANDIGARH KARE AASHIQUI MUNDA JATTAN DA JALANDHRON AA KE. I thought what if I had romanced in Chandigarh and lived the life as described in this song.

You graduate on to a bike from a humble scooter (BECH KE SCOOTER OHNE HERO HONDA LAI LIYA) but never graduate from college (BA DI PADHAI VICHON TEEJI VAARI REH GAYA), damn I passed in one go and never had a scooter.

Now romancing in a city which is not your own and known has its own pitfalls like being brutally beaten by the brothers/cousins of the girl(s) and in some case the girls themselves (JUTTIYAN VI BAHUT TEJ TEJ PAINDIYAIN). No juttiyans for me in cosmopolitan Delhi.

Just once in my life I want to tell a woman that she looks like Hema Malini or in our times like Aishwarya Rai (YAARAN NU TUN LAGGE HEMA MALINI DI BHAIN NI) and just once in my life I want to retort that- there is no place for a lover who is afraid of a lashing (AASHIQ DA KI MARNA JIHDA JADAK JUTTI MAR JAVE)

Thinking about roaming in Sec 17 (SATARAN) and doing all this at least takes the terrible heat of Delhi away (what if momentarily).

THE MALE VERSION OF ENGLISH VINGLISH-FINALE

THE MALE VERSION OF ENGLISH VINGLISH-FINALE

      One evening Mr.Dad , with wife and kid in tow went to dine in a swanky new restaurant that had just opened up and was frequented by many celebrities of the city. As they were about to order their food , they heard a shrilling sound of a woman calling out the first name of Mr.Dad, this voice sounded familiar, as if they had heard it many times before…….

      A face appeared from behind, oh my god it was nobody else but the prettiest (also most popular) TV presenter of the City, she used to host a very popular kids entertainment programme and was the favourite presenter/star for the kid (Mr.Dad’s son)….

      It turned out that Mr Dad and Ms.TV Star were college buddies and GOOD FRIENDS almost two decades ago. For the child the father was suddenly a hero who was his PASS to meet his favourite star. Ms.TV star gave the kid a peck on his chubby cheek and said YOUR FATHER IS THE FUNNIEST MAN I HAVE EVER MET IN MY LIFE……

      The family returned home but all this was too much to handle for the 8 year old , he could not sleep the entire night, his DAD was friends with the prettiest woman in the city, how was that possible and what did she mean that he was the funniest man that she had ever met, was his father a funny guy in college? What had happened to his wit? Was it still there?

      A month passed but the child was still searching for answers, till they again ventured out to what else another eating joint in the city, the speciality of this joint was that had special entertainment programmes for weekends and today was an evening of comedy where some of the well-known stand up comics were to perform in front of the diners…

      As the family took their seats they were excited about the performances that lay ahead. The organisers had decided to keep the session interactive and had also arranged for few fillers where people from the audience can participate…

      When the master of ceremony announced that if someone from the audience wanted to do a filler for 5 mins, the kid shouted MY DAD MY DAD MY DAD. There was cheer from the crowd as they liked the fact that someone had volunteered.

       Mr.Dad got up (he could never say no to his bundle of joy), but as soon as he reached the podium, he was transformed into a different man, while he was sitting as a diner, he was like Bruce Wayne but as soon as he got up on the podium he was BATMAN, he cracked jokes like they were sitting in the right pocket of his dinner jacket, the audience were thundering and clapping as if JAY LENO was standing in front of them, they wanted more of this NEW GUY who was funny as hell…

      The wife and the kid could not understand what had happened in the last 30 mins…………………….

      Today Mr.Dad is one of the finest stand-up comics in the country with performances across many cities and he goes by the name , you guessed it MR.DAD.

THE MALE VERSION OF ENGLISH VINGLISH –PART 2

THE MALE VERSION OF ENGLISH VINGLISH –PART 2

      Now to straight away arrive at the solution would be little less dramatic, so we will have to understand the Agony of Mr.Dad.

      Scene 1 is at the dinner table where the wife talks about her achievements at her place of work and the child (he just goes on and on) about his exploits in the English essay, the football field, the school canteen …….

       Mr.Dad is quiet, not because he has nothing to say (he has had a successful career of 15 years and can talk about a thing or two) because he wants to listen to two of his most favourite people on the planet, it gives him immense happiness that he is not an MCP and can take great pride in the success of his wife.

      However all work and no play (talk) makes Jack a dull boy, so what will our Jack do or say that will get him the bragging rights to be a part of this ALPHA club.

      Scene 2 takes us to the office of Mr.Dad, where he has his old colleagues talking about the CRICKET matches and the reality shows on TV, Mr.Dad thinks that this is really pedestrian and is looking for a greater meaning to life. He doesn’t smoke and drinks occasionally and hence is further alienated from the happening crowd and parties at office, so he goes back home and we get a repeat of Scene 1.

      This cant be dark and daring like AMERICAN BEAUTY, we have already ruled out the ROCK ON and CHAK DE influence, then what will it be………..the question on our minds is the question on Mr.Dad’s mind too………………….

      To be contd…..

THE MALE VERSION OF ENGLISH VINGLISH-PART 1

A thought came to my mind after watching the hugely successful ENGLISH VINGLISH that had SRIDEVI in it and was directed by GAURI SHINDE.

What if a male version of the story was created .....how would it go.

The protagonist would be a middle aged man with a beautiful, intelligent,successful (read DOMINATING) wife and a cute, naughty and witty child (read most popular kid at school). This man would be the BETA in the triangle with the ALPHA wife and kid.

Now Mr.Dad would wear a suit and tie and go to office every day, he is 40+ with little belly fat and absolutely no excitement in his life. Unfortunately he doesnt even know how to make LADDOS like Sridevi in English Vinglish.

But the man has a hidden talent, no he is not a singer/rockstar like a FARHAN AKHTAR in Rock on, then what is this magic potion which will bring the HALLELUJAH moment in the life of this man.

a)      Will he turn out to be cape crusader like BATMAN or SUPERMAN

b)      Will he be a sports success like SRK in Chak De

c)      Will the prettiest woman in the City/Country turn out to be an ex girlfriend

d)     Will it be something which is .....................................................................

To be Contd..............

BOMBAY TALKIES -THE SCRIPTWRITER’S PARADISE

BOMBAY TALKIES -THE SCRIPTWRITER’S PARADISE

The 4 short stories directed by 4 directors are different, at times difficult to digest or difficult to understand. They take you on 4 different journeys, whether you want to go or not is up to you, but these stories and the characters are moving and will reach their destination which may or may not be the cinema goer’s direction.

KARAN JOHAR- He has rocked the boat, the man is a champion for a cause dear to his heart, but all said and done it is his finest work till date, he shows a range which people don’t think that he is capable of. The scene where a little beggar girl is singing LAG JAA GALE at the local train station boasts of cinematic brilliance. Rani looks out of this world. Gale me mangalsutra aur aankhon mein kamasutra is one of the outstanding dialogues.

DIBAKAR BANERJEE- This is more of Nawazuddin Siddiqui showing his brilliance at acting. The scene where Sadashiv Amrapurkar makes a cameo after such a long time is a delight to watch. Overall this is your typical art-house powerhouse cinema.

ZOYA AKHTAR- Take a bow the script writer, where a young boy whose father wants him to be a footballer, has different aspirations, he wants to be a dancer and not any dancer, he wants to be SHEILA - Katrina Kaif from Sheila ki jawani.

ANURAAG KASHYAP- Bachchan and the Bollywood stars are human but life is the superstar which behaves strangely is the motto here. Passable, a lot was expected from him but this is ordinary fare from Anuraag.

All in all this is a movie for an actual cinema lover and not someone who is looking for an alternative to IPL or Television serials this weekend or an outing with family.

WEEKEND POOJA AT HOME (PART 2) -The Guests Have Arrived

WEEKEND POOJA AT HOME (PART 2) -The Guests Have Arrived

The comedy of errors started when I got up at 7 AM on the day of the POOJA, as compared to the sharp 6 AM that I get up every morning. On realising that the guests would be arriving at 8 AM and I have just 55 minutes to save myself from the ire of wifey, who as luck would have it got up at 6 AM (compared to the 7 AM that she gets up every day) and was making tea, I ran to the bathroom as if my life depended on it.

Thank god I did not mix up the Shaving Gel with the toothpaste else it literally would have left a bad taste in my mouth. After 25 minutes, the holy trinity of BRUSH, SHAVE and SHOWER was behind me as I emerged from the bathroom like a fine steed out of a stable.

The bell rang and I was ready, just like I had been ready for C.B.S.E, D.U and I.C.A.I. The guests started coming in and took their seats on the mattress which was spread across the floor of the living room. This was going to be a Religious marathon of 60 minutes and we had spiritual sprinters, runners and marathoners spread across the living room.

On your mark GET, SET and MEDITATE…………………………………………………………………………………………….

60 minutes passed and the mattress breathed a sigh of relief, as slowly the guests started moving towards the dining area. The first half of the POOJA PARTY was over and now it was time to PARTY (for the guests that is), the HOSTS (Me and Wifey) were supposed to serve the marathoners with GOLD, SILVER and BRONZE medals (from yesterday’s post). The ALOO POORI, BREAD ROLLS and SANDWICHES were out in full glory. The HALWA (I like it well done) was passed around with a lot of fervour and gaiety. The cut mangoes and melons were given a cold treatment (in the presence of the HALWA) and were sent back to the refrigerator.

The living and dining area was full with laughter as if India had defended the cricket world cup. No person, subject or materialistic thing was spared (pitfalls of heavy eating on a Sunday). However my mind was fixed elsewhere as I desperately wanted to be in the company of the one I adored –THE SUNDAY NEWSPAPER, but I knew that we (paper and I) would only be united with the evening cup of Tea (unlike the morning tea with newspaper drill).

After the BRUNCH (no not the HT BRUNCH, I was already missing VIR SANGHVI's column) and the chatter, it was time to say AU REVOIR, HASTA LA VISTA or the good old NAMASTE. The back was aching but the face was smiling, I wished if somebody seriously patted (and massaged) my back. As I crashed on the bed, my mind seemed to wonder...................... what will be in store for the NEXT WEEKEND.

Weekend Pooja at Home

Weekend Pooja at Home

The day I decided to have a Pooja and Path at home, I zeroed in on a Sunday Morning (Sunday being the best day of the week and morning being the most tranquil time of the day).

But as soon as I discussed the matter with my PRINCIPAL ADVISOR (read as wifey) some very important observations and areas of focus were highlighted to me

1. The guest List

2. The food list

3. Duration of Pooja

The meditation /prayer turned into a small party for which people were to be invited and an elaborate menu was to be fixed.

Inviting A, B and C and not inviting D, E and F was as dangerous as having a dialogue with Chinese Army on the Arunachal Border, hence the guest list which was prepared (hold your breath) at the time of my wedding was taken out to see who fits in the POOJA PARTY scene. After hours of deliberation a carefully prepared draft was finalised and the sealed envelope was handed over to the MASTER OF CEREMONY for people to be invited.

The second task was to finalise the FOOD MENU. Some proposals that were shared by the panellist were about the variety

-How about two starters and one main course with one dessert

-Or three starters and two desserts

The usual suspects fighting for the breakfast slots were Cucumber and Tomato sandwiches, piping hot Bread Rolls filled with Onion and potato filling accompanied by mint chutney, the heavyweight Puri Aloo was also making a strong pitch. No prize for guessing the Gold, silver and bronze were awarded to these three in reverse order of mention. The battle of desserts never started as no sweet dish turned up against the all mighty HALWA.

Having completed the guest list and the food menu the third and the final task was to decide on the duration of the PATH, so the guests also get time to socialize with each other after the pooja. A 60 minute slot was awarded to the POOJA, as I was told that people would not be able to sit cross legged on the mattress on the floor for more than an hour.

I guess will now have one PATH in the morning and one in the evening-all alone, to thank the lord that all went well in the morning at the POOJA PARTY.

COMEDY WRITING WORKSHOP AT THE INDIA HABITAT CENTRE

COMEDY WRITING WORKSHOP AT THE INDIA HABITAT CENTRE

Day 1 of the Comedy writing workshop and the mixed audience were regaled by our Faculty who also happens to be a well-known Stand-up comic.

The idea was to understand the basic essence of comic writing and character building. Some of the points that were covered were

-Satire eg. Jaane Bhi do Yaaron

-Believable Characters eg. Khosla Ka Ghosla and When Harry Met Sally

-Situations eg. Most of the sitcoms

The task for the 15 people assembled there was to create a situation in 4 lines with the following framework

a)      SETTING b) CHARACTER c) WANT d) CONFLICT

Out of the 15 some of the entries which generated a lot of laughter are as follows

1.      a) Setting- A plane has crashed in middle of Africa

b) Character-A middle age potbellied African man

c) Want/Statement-Do you think we ate them all

d) Conflict/Statement-I think Nigeria will need another football team

 

2.      a) Setting- Wharton ,University of Pennsylvania

b) Character-An 18 year old Indian Student Rahul has landed there after finishing his school

c) Want/Statement-I want to get laid

d) Conflict/Statement-But today is Tuesday

 

3.      a) Setting- A coffee outlet in Delhi

b) Character-A middle aged Sikh Gentleman

c) Want/Statement-Sir your order will take time, I will call you, can I have your name?

d )Conflict/Statement-Anthony Gonzalves

 

The person who had created the scenario had to keep quiet and the other participants had to interpret these and there were so many different versions for a single scenario.

Day 2 awaits the enactment of these scenarios with resolutions to the conflicts.

Writing English Comedy for Indian Audiences

I am going to attend a Comedy Writing workshop at the India Habitat Centre, next weekend. The subject of the two day workshop is Writing English Comedy for Indian Audiences. The various areas that this workshop will cover are a) Film b) TV c) Plays and d) Stand-up, basically writing a funny script for these mediums.

The faculty will be a Gentleman by the name of ANUVAB PAL who is an acclaimed playwright, screenwriter, novelist and stand-up. He is the writer of the smash hit Mumbai plays - The President Is Coming, 1 888 Dial India, Chaos Theory and his latest that's packing houses, The Bureaucrat. His films include the cult classics The President Is Coming and Loins Of Punjab Presents.

Although the session is a week away, my mind seems to wonder what kind of people enrol for such workshops, is it

-          People with published works

-          People who treat it as a hobby

-          People who want to be in the Media/limelight

-          Explorers who just want to hear like-minded people

The second question that comes to my mind is that how can a script which is suited for television be adapted for film, or something which is a hit on stand up, can be made effective for a sitcom.

Humour is a relative term, what is humorous to some can be offensive to others, how to find your target audience, how to ensure that they remain your target audience throughout the script and do not change ship by the end of it.

How do freelance writers and bloggers who like doing things at their own leisure adapt to the timelines of writing for TV or Film and adjust to a persona of the TV stars and Film Stars.

I guess all these questions can be answered once I attend this workshop, and if they are not answered then hell what it’s only some cash that goes down the drain, anyways all of us are used to losing cash with the volatile stock markets.